I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
...so i touched it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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