How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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