Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
