I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
