I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dick very happy bro
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize