whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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