I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize