We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize