he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
