I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
