first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
