Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
try to milk me bitch
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