i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
