I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
