she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
