Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
