Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
