That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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