Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.