Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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  (860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. http://tfl.nu/14qy
  Replies (49) Good night (534) Bad night (6471) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

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  (404): Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head (770): Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you http://tfl.nu/ibzk
  Replies (20) Good night (3805) Bad night (429)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We got so high we made milksteak

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  (250): We got so high we made milksteak http://tfl.nu/iyv5
  Replies (45) Good night (4234) Bad night (1116) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine

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  (585): I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine http://tfl.nu/d7kh
  Replies (12) Good night (775) Bad night (6256) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

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  (201): The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20. http://tfl.nu/e9d3
  Replies (10) Good night (3960) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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  (416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo
  Replies (24) Good night (4110) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles

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  (978): Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles http://tfl.nu/8ba6
  Replies (8) Good night (2311) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

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  (214): I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine http://tfl.nu/8nsa
  Replies (5) Good night (1723) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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  (206): Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/5wes
  Replies (6) Good night (1577) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.

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  (540): i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis. http://tfl.nu/pg6e
  Replies (10) Good night (554) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

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  (603): be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage http://tfl.nu/vba1
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

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  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Seriously. Castrate.

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  (303): If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you (303): Seriously. Castrate. http://tfl.nu/qjql
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (727)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress

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  (202): he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress http://tfl.nu/kmvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1194) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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  (402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4
  Replies (11) Good night (519) Bad night (257)

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