i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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