Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
