I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
