He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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