I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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