I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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