She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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