if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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