I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
