Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
