Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
