Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
