ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
