Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I party with great urgency now.
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