Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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