i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
