I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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