worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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