drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
