The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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