So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish you could order shots online.
this boner is exhausting
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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