We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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