Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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