HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
