I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
