Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
