So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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