Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
