A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize