she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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