I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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