is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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