dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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