last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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