When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
