Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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