hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize