They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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