She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
